Sept. 3rd, 2009

Wrote it in my blue book that day, I caught it now while flipping through.

Where do I begin? Simply- with that I'm so madly in love with Norway. Even when I am away, I just close my eyes and I'm back. My fairy tale land. All suffering is bearable with you to save me. You can always save me. It's your consistency- your always being there, so ancient and deep, that grounds me in all the fleeting moments of anxiety, bliss, lust, and hatred that i experience so often, A base for my outlook on life that hops around like a little bird, each day shifting or becoming more concrete.
It's Norway that allows me to be experimental- the fast world of New York to satisfy my need for movement and a place to live out roles and test theories, while I still have Norge to rehabilitate, reflect, improve, and dream. Why should I commit to a single personality now, when I have the opportunity to sit at the edge and swing my legs around in a few different ones for a while?
I think life will last longer if I can experience many lives in one, in addition to the ghostly pauses of soul in Norway's early morning light.
Maybe you could see it as a recipe for phoniness, but I really believe that experiencing life from many different angles is what leads one to become even more human. To understand each side of an argument is so essential. To be able to weigh things out. whether you agree with it or not, to accept that it is so, somewhere and for somebody. Perhaps not a very controversial sort of thing to do, but it gives more depth to a person.
I think this is my main obstacle as someone who is taking art into my future. I find it difficult to invent or lend myself to specific statements and ideas because I don't think it's fair to pin my art and name onto one little thing that can be labeled as something huge. Just for example, say I do a series of photographs that exhibit some Feminist ideals. Someone could easily those little nuances of Feminism and tack the whole piece onto everything that pertains to Feminism, therefore giving the piece a short, one angled life.
These days an image can easily lose any significance it might have. Overproduced and overproduced and losing meaning each time it's thrown a thoughtless glance. Don't get me wrong, I do love paintings and all very much, but maybe you've picked up that I'm a bit set on things that last through time and avoid becoming trivial.
Here's where I realized that writing is what I care most about. I need not go into the effort and thought it takes to really read an idea in word form and take it in. Literature has the certainty of the words being there, right there, plain and in print, while the content is exploration, tests, and different roles. Much like how Norway allows me to explore..